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C E C Middle College
2650 Eliot St.
Denver CO 80211
Ph: 720 - 423 - 6600
Fax: 720 - 423 - 6604
TTY: 720 - 423 - 6643

Ms. Smith's Joke (An American Corporation...)

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.  You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.  You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.  You are surprised when one cow drops dead.  You spin an announcement to the stock analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.  Your stock goes up.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.  You go on strike because you want three cows.  You go to lunch and drink wine.  Life is good!

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.  You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.  They learn to travel on unbelieveably crowded trains.  Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPOATION

You have two cows.  You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.  Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.  While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.  You break for lunch.  Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cow.  You have some vodka.  You count them and learn you have five cows.  You have some more vodka.  You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.  The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.  You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.  Then you kill them and clain a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

IRAQIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.  They go in hiding.  They send radio tapes of their mooing.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.  Everyone votes for the best looking one.  Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.  Some people vote for both.  Some people vote for neigher.  Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.  Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.  Arnold likes the ones with the big breasts.